Reggie Watts
Reggie Watts is a comedian and musician. He currently appears as the bandleader on the IFC talkshow Comedy Bang Bang.

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REASON 62: He has the power of three eagles.

He’s not an asshole. He’s handsome. He’s eloquent, well-spoken. He’s mixed-race, like me. He’s a hard worker. He enjoys enjoyment. He’s skinny, which I wish I was. He seems to make some good decisions… most of the time. He has the power of three eagles. He is not really weird and inhuman like the other candidate. He’s not creepy, like the other candidate. He’s a known quantity. He seems to enjoy a peaceful, educated world. He’s not Romney. He plays basketball. Romney sucks at basketball. He doesn’t believe in wearing magical underwear, like Romney does. He’s not a robot, like Romney is. He’s tall. He enjoys cats. He’s very friendly and has good teeth. One bad thing about him is that he needs to start saying “to” instead of “tuh.” But he’s halfway in the middle of the things he wants to accomplish; let’s give him a chance to finish it out. Also he’s not Romney. And he’s not a racist. If people vote for Obama, it will be a world filled with people going, “Wow, Americans are pretty smart.” If we vote for Romney, the rest of the world will say, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think it’s going to be a good time for the next four years.” Vote for Obama if you want to party and be enlightened.

Reggie Watts
 Brooklyn, New York

Read the next essay →

REASON 06:
Obama teaches us to believe hope can lead to real change. read essay →

REASON 22:
Vote for Obama—because the Republicans don’t even want you to vote. read essay →

REASON 28:
Because corporations are not people. People are better. read essay →